Leavetaking

Lately, I've been thinking about what it might mean to completely let go of what I thought life would be.

As I've mentioned before, 2020 was the year of so much disappointment and sadness for so many people... but since I'm just one person, I can only speak for myself. It was rough.

But there has been a shift within me, a noticeable one. My social situation hasn't changed at all, and yet my life is so different in nearly every other way. The problem with that is how out-of-place my old grudges and insecurities seem in light of these new changes.

Something has to go.

And so, I'm finding myself leaning into this new life, while honoring the complexity of my former one. I'm still upset, still disappointed, still fighting to believe that I'm worth more than what I've experienced.

I'm still fighting to believe that I belong.

One good thing that mindfulness meditation can teach you is that your emotions aren't bad; they're informative.

There's no need to kick the difficult feelings out of the house, but you can sure leave them alone in the room in which they take up space.

So that's that's what I'm doing. My life is progressing and my heart is doing its best to catch up with the times.

More on the way (I mean it this time).

-D.